Gerberas
by Swienegel
Summary: Something happens that changes everything in the JAG family... This is AJMac pairing


Titel: Gerberas  
Autor: Swienegel  
Kategorie: Shipperstory ; Characterdeath  
Timeline: 8te oder 9te Staffel  
Spoiler: keine mir Bekannten  
Rechte: Alle rechte an der ferbsehserie Jag und ihren Charakteren gehören Donald P Bellisario, Bellisarius Productions, CBS und Paramount Televisions

**Vilen Dank und großen knuddel an seahawk fürs betalesen**

9:30 local time  
JAG headquarters  
Falls Church; VA

Colonel Sarah MacKenzie stepped into the bullpen and looked around, looking for a certain person. Because she didn't see him, she went on going to his office.  
"Tiner, I need to speak to the Admiral." She adressed the Petty Officer.  
"Sure Ma'am, just a moment please…" he pushed some buttons on his phone and exchanged a few words with AJ before letting Mac go into the office. 

"At ease, Colonel." He leaned back in his office chair and examined Mac standing in front of him.  
"Permission to speak freely, Sir?" She asked hesitantly.  
"Permission granted."   
"Sir, I'm worried about Commander Rabb. I haven't seen him since yesterday evening, when he left JAG and nobody knows where he is." Macs voice sounded worried and AJ knew why.  
"Don't worry that much, Colonel. It's not the first time that the Commander is late. You know him better than me. There is something else…" his voice trailed off.  
Macs eyes were wandering all over the room but avoided AJ.  
He was right. There was something she was worried about, but was she allowed to tell someone's secrets because she was worried about her best friend?  
"Sir, you're right, there is something… but I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you. In fact, if I tell you this, someone is going to be very sad at me."  
"Is this something about the Commander, Colonel?" His voice was unemotional and Mac was a little bit confused about what to do next.  
"Er… Actually it's something the Commander told me a few days ago…" Her eyes were wandering over the room again.  
"Are there problems the Commander had to handle or something like that?" Aj was getting more tired by the minute….  
"No problems, it's something he said to me…"  
"You already mentioned that Colonel, come to the point please…"  
"Yes Sir…" Mac searched for words.   
"Commander Rabb was talking about –" She was interrupted by someone crashing the door.  
"Nobody moves!" A voice jelled.   
Mac and AJ exchanged a glance, Mac confused and angry, AJ very angry.  
"Who are you and what are you doing in my office?" AJ asked coldly.  
"I'm the one asking the questions. We're looking for a certain Commander. He has something that belongs to us and we want it back." The man spoke with a deep and clear voice that was as cold as AJ´s.  
Mac and AJ exchanged another glance… more than one… it said.  
"Leave my office…" AJ told the man with a quiet voice.  
"Oh no. I'm not leaving…" The man laughed and headed to the desk, until he stand only a few inches away from Mac.  
Then he lifted his hand up and winked at Mac.  
"Where is Commander Rabb." His gestures told both of them not to do anything wrong or Mac would die.

"Here…" A voice went through the room.  
The black clothed man rushed around and aimed at Harm.  
Then the sounds of shots cut the air and Harm broke down.  
Blood ran down his temple. Motionless, he lay on the ground.  
Mac sprinted to Harm who had fallen to the floor. She knelt down beside him and held his head in her hands…   
"Harm… Harm!" she began to cry.  
She felt live leaving his body.  
Mac was shivering, AJ a little bit shocked.  
Having served in Vietnam, he knew how to handle deaths of close persons, but here in DC just at work he wasn't used to the experience of losing people near to him.  
"What's giving you the right of killing people!" Mac yelled at the man.  
They could see him smile under his cotton mask.  
"Whats giving you the right to live?" He responded, before taking the pistol up again and shooting at both of them.  
After he was sure that he had hit them right he left the office and together with his companions the building.  
They were a group of six: While he had been in the AJ´s office, the other five had kept the other Navy Officers under controle.  
Just as the door closed behind the criminals, Harriet ran to AJ´s office and saw Harm laying in a puddle of blood.  
A few steps beneath him, Mac lay on the floor. Harriet could see her breathing hestitantly, unsteadily.  
With a bad feeling she yelled at the people standing behind her : "Get the paramedics! Quickly… They're bleeding badly."  
She knelt down beside Harm, checking his pulse and quickly closing her eyes, from where tears began to run.  
She checked both Mac's and AJ´s pulses, both running too fast and bleeding to much.

Just a few minuites later the paramedics arrived and tried to rescue Harms live and those of Mac and AJ.

2 days later  
Bethesda hospital   
Intensive Care Unit

Harriet and Bud had gone a few hours ago, Sturgis was sitting in the waiting area with Tiner and some others from JAG headquarters.  
They took turns waiting here and hoping for Mac and AJ to win the fight against death.

Harm was dead, the paramedics hadn't been able to get him back to life.   
If they had, Harm would have been a disabled person, physically and psychically.  
AJ and Mac were in a coma since they got to hospital. The doctors were able to stabilizise their body functions and everyone was only able to pray for them to wake up.

30 Minutes later the onlyone sitting and waiting in the room was Sturgis. He was surprised when he heard soemone entering the room. When he looked up he saw Clayton Webb standing in front of him.   
"Webb… What has the CIA to do with this whole mess?" he asked quietly. The loss of a very close friend upset him a lot..   
"We're investigating in this "mess" as you called it." He told Sturgis.  
It was quiet in the room for some seconds, before Sturgis shook his head and offered Clay to sit down.  
"What do you know about these people who shoot the three of them?" Sturgis sounded tired.  
"Not very much. Harm did me a favour. He took very important informations from insiders of a group wich is connected to the Hamas. They found out about his right identity and you know what happened. Harm was able to let us know what they had planned before they killed him." Clay took a deep breath before speaking again.  
"I'm, sorry about what happened. We tried to get a team of specialists as an observation team to protect Harm but they were to late.  
The Hamas members wanted to attack several important buildings, to name only two… the pentagon and a military airbase in wich the airforce is researching new airplane programs…" again he trailed off.  
"Did Harm anything else because of that they wanted him to be dead?" Sturgis asked.  
"Harm's knowledge on aircrafts was his most important skill… and that he is a member of the military service. That helped him a lot when he tried to get the information we needed. He gave the people of the Hamas wrong information on how to use the programs and such things. He took all his freetime in that job. I made myself guilty for what happened to him. I asked him to do the job…"  
"You gave Harm the chance to back out?" Sturgis cut him off.  
"I gave him…"   
"So it's only half your guilt… It was Harms choice to go into one of you silly employments…" In Sturgis voice there was the sound of making Clay guilty for asking Harm into this…

Bethesda hospital   
Intensive Care Unit  
Macs Room

She slowly awoke. Her eyes were dry and her mouth felt like she had been in the Sahara standing in the sunshine for hours…  
When she tried to open her eyes she closed them quickly because of the lights shining so bright.   
Because of the beeping of the instruments she knew that she was in hospital… But she couldn't remember why…  
After several minutes she tried again to open her eyes. Hurriedly she blinked and soon she saw colors, but everything was blurred…  
All she saw was a dense fog.  
"Colonel Mackenzie?" someone asked her. She didn't know the voice…  
"Yes?" she managed to whisper…   
"I'm Dr. Delacroix… Do you remember what happened to you?"   
"I've got a headache…" she tried to remember how she got here but the only things she could remember were Harm falling down to the floor, shot down….  
The Admiral discussing with someone…   
Feeling herself being lost in darkness….  
"How bad am I hurt?" she asked with a very weak voice…  
"Badly. The last few days you were in a coma. But now it's getting better and better."  
"Is someone hurt besides me?" she looked up to Dr. Delacroix and saw the worried expression on his face.  
"Please…." Her voice broke apart.  
"Please…" She tried again. "How is Harm? And the Admiral… How are they?"  
"I don't think you should think about other people right now. You're badly hurt and you should take a rest." Dr. Delacroix turned his face down to the paper wich he held in his hands. He wrote something down and put it back into a folder.  
"I'll come back this afternoon. Try to sleep. Being in a coma is not like sleeping, you should remember that. It's like being in a marathon…"  
Only a few steps and he would reach the door…  
Mac felt that she wasn't able to hold her eyes open and closed them.  
She was so tired… But she wanted to know how Harm was. She knew that the terrorist had shot at him and AJ before shooting at her…

She fell asleep… 

At the same time in AJ's room

There has to be something I'm able to do…   
AJ felt more bored by the minute.  
He stared at the clock standing at his bedside. After 15 minutes he felt that his neck began to hurt very much and now he was staring at the wall on the end of his bed.  
As minutes went on he felt like going to be crazy…  
He called after a nurse… Only a minute later, one of them was standing at his bedside.  
"What is it?" She asked…  
"I want to make a call…" He said as strongly as he could.  
"I don't think you're allowed to, I'm sorry."  
"I don't care about what I'm allowed to do or not…" AJ sounded very angry.  
"But you should care…" the nurse answered him in a very maternal tone.  
"Has anything changed in the Colonel's condition?" his voice was normal again.   
The nurse hesitated…  
"I'm going to see how she is…" She replied after some seconds.

5 minutes later…

"Sir?" The nurse was back.  
"How is she?" he asked and hoped for the best.  
"She awoke twenty minutes ago or so. She is asleep right now. Dr. Delacroix had a chat with her. She asked about a certain Harm and "The Admiral". You should take a rest now. Really…" The motherly tone was back.  
AJ agreed with the nurse and after she left the room he murmured…  
"You should rest now… REALLY!" Who does she think she is? To talk to a SEAL in that childish way…

He tried to get some sleep, but he had too much thoughts spinning around in his head.  
He remembered about situations with him and Harm, Harm and Mac…  
Fighting in the court himself…  
Bud and Harriet, Sturgis Turner… He thought about all the people who had served under his command or were serving under his command right now.  
The most time he thought about Mac… and Harm.  
How would Mac react, when she became aware that Harm was dead…? Her best friend… Maybe he was more to her than that… He didn't know.  
He hoped for her to be strong enough to handle that situation…

17:30 local time  
ICU  
AJ's room

Dr. Delacroix entered the room and greeted the awaking AJ…  
After rolling from one side of the bed to the other he had fallen asleep after nearly an hour.  
"Good afternoon, Admiral Chegwidden." He greeted him.  
"Good afternoon to you too, Dr." AJ sat up a little in his bed.  
"Have you taken a look at Colonel MacKenzie already?" He asked promtly…  
"I visited her just before I went to check up on you, Admiral. She is just fine… Not asleep at the moment and driving the nurses crazy by asking them questions about the wellbeing of you and Commander Rabb…." He stopped talking and got nearer to AJ.  
"She was close to Commander Rabb, wasn't she?"  
"Yes. They were best friends and she's not going to let herself take a rest until she knows what happened to him…" and me he added in silence.  
"I don't think it's good for her wellbeing to tell her that Commander Rabb died…" He gave AJ a questioning look.  
"I think it's not the best way, Dr… But she's not going to take a break until she knows what happened. She's a Marine…" he grinned. For him that explained everything.  
"I'll see what I'm going to do about that… We'll let you stay in the ICU for some more days to watch your recovery and than we'll see if we're able to transfer you to the normal unit…  
I think we're able to allow someone to visit you. But only one or two persons and only for 10 or 15 minutes… That's the best we can offer at the moment…"  
AJ's expression changed again and Delacroix could see what he thought…   
"No arguments accepted, Admiral. That's just for your wellbeing." He paused again.  
"Colonel Mackenzie is allowed to get some visitors in a few days. She's more exhausted than you are and the projectile passed her heart only about a few centimeters…"   
"I know…" AJ sighed. "But it's not going to simplify things. I'm scared of… She is a really tough person… Physically and emotionally…" The last sentence was more to himself that to Delacroix.

4 days later

A few people had visited AJ since he had been transferred to the regular unit.  
Today Delacroix would let him know how long he had to stay in hospital…  
Most of the surveillance instruments were not needed any more so AJ was able to stand up and walk a little bit in his room… The nurses didn't want him to do so, but he didn't care about them.  
He was just walking around his bed, when Delacroix entered the room.  
"Admiral…" he had on the mother-caring tone again…  
"You know you should take it easy. Don't strain your body more than it is able to…"  
"I don't care much for that. I feel better than before I was here in hospital… If that's possible. So please let me decide when it's time to get to rest again…" AJ answered.  
"So… I have good and bad news for you. Which one do you want to hear first?"  
"The bad one please…"  
"OK… You have to stay here for one more week, I'm afraid, but we'll see than. The good news is that Colonel MacKenzie is transferred to this unit, too. She's allowed to get visitors, but not too many for the next days."  
Delacroix went to the door.  
"Have a nice day, Admiral… There is something you should know, too…" His face had a worried expression. "She knows about Commander Rabb…"  
With that he left.  
He left a very worried AJ who made a decision.  
He took his infusion and carrying it with one hand he slowly walked to the door.  
He paused for some seconds and then opened it and looked up and down the floor.  
He couldn't see Dr. Delacroix so he left his room and walked the section up, looking for the name MacKenzie on one of the doorframes.  
The sixth door on the left side of his room was hers.  
Again he paused and took a deap breath befor knocking on the door.  
"Yes…" A very exhausted and sad voice came to his ears...  
He opened the door, entered the room and walked to her bedside.  
"Good morning, Colonel. Just wanted to look myself how you are."  
He sat to the chair next to the bed.   
"Good morning, Admiral." Her eyes had lost that beautiful sparkling and her face looked so dissapointed and so sad… It hurt AJ's inside to see her like this.  
"How do you feel, Mac?" AJ's voice was deep and soft and remembered Mac of a time, when Harm had hold her and tried to her stop crying.  
Harm… She had thought about him the whole time… Him and AJ.  
But since she knew that Harm was dead, she didn't know what her life was worth living for..  
Her best friend and so much more didn't exist anymore and that hurted so much…  
It felt like having lost a part of herself and she missed him. She missed him joking with her.. She mised the kisses they had shared over the years and she missed to talk to him…  
Knowing that she would never be able to do or feel anything of that again with him made her sad and weak…  
Tears were welling up in her eyes and she began to cry…  
"I miss him… I miss him so much…" Mac didn't care that her CO was in the room. She needed to talk about what she felt or she would explode of the weight that laid on her shoulders.  
AJ took her hand so that she knew that she wasn't in this mess alone…  
Mac looked in his face and saw understanding, sadness and friendship there.   
Know she felt a little bit better. The hurt of having Harm lost was still there and it hadn't lost any of it's weight but she knew that she wasn't alone and that somebody cared about her and that made her stronger. It didn't matter to her that this was her CO she was talking to, now it was a friend listening to her and understanding her feelings…  
After Mac was able to controle the tears wich had streamed down her face she began to tell AJ about her feelings…  
"I miss him…" She didn't know how to adress him… this was a very personal thing, but…  
"Call me AJ, we're not in duty…" he took the decision off her.  
"OK… AJ – I'm sad because I'm thinking about how my life is going to be without him… Not able to talk to him, fighting against him in court… Eating pizza of just going put with him, Bud and Harriet to McMurphy's…  
It's just like feeling that a part of myself died…" She broke apart…  
AJ squeezed her hand a little and answered her.  
"I think that's the feeling of loosing someone you love." His words went through his head over and over again and he couldn't say from where they had come…  
After some minutes had passed, Mac turned her head to the window.  
"Maybe you're right…. We never talked about that… but once. He said he needed me and I wasn't able to give him…"  
"You're not guilty about what happened. It's not your fault that he died without knowing that…" AJ could see that she felt guilty… That she was sad about that she hadn't told him how she felt… And now she would never be able to do it… Harm would never kow what he had meant to her.  
"I want him back, AJ… I just wish this whole thing is just a bad dream and I'm going to awake soon and be able to laugh about it… But I guess tha's not going to happen, right?"   
She turned her face to him again.  
Agreement, understandment and worry were shown on AJ's face.  
"Mac… You're not the only one who is going to miss Harm. I do know how you're feeling. It's bad… its really worse. But remember… there are always people caring about you. Harm would have wanted you to be happy. I think now is maybe not the right time to think about hapiness, but remember it. And he's not the only one wanting you to be happy."   
A knock on the door break the silence lying over the room after AJ had ended.  
Dr. Delacroix entered the room and gave AJ a look dracula would have been proud of.  
"Admiral Chegwidden… I have told you to take things easy and not to go wandering around in the hospital. Never ever do that again without telling anybody where you're going to!"  
"Yes, Dr Delacroix…" AJ answered…. Knowing exactly that he wouldn't care about it later…  
"Colonel, how do you feel?" Delacroix adressed Mac.  
"I feel a little bit tired, but that's OK… I think I need some rest now…" She turned her face to AJ.  
"Thank you for listening. Hope to see you soon again… And don't be worried."  
She had seen this expression only a second or so in his face, when he thought she wouldn't see it…  
"I'll get through this. I'm a Marine…"   
"And Marines do have feelings…" AJ reminded her while standing up and walking slowly to the door, where Dr Delacroix waited.  
With a look to the Doc AJ promised… "I'll come over for a some minutes tomorrow…"  
And then the two of them left Mac in the cold white room with her thoughts.

3 hours later  
Bethesda hospital  
Mac's room

Mac awoke abruptly because she had had a nightmare in wich Harm had visited her….  
The dream was the same like all the others she had had in the last hours since she knew that he was dead…. Gone from her side.

Flashback 

…He was standing at her bedside and smiled at her. Then he sat down and took her hand. After that he was just sitting there and holding her hand in his.  
That was the part of the dream when everything was just OK…  
Then the dream began to change….   
Harms hand went to his heart and blood was dropping to the floor. His face took on a very upset expression and his face turned white…   
His mouth was open and it seemed that he was screaming but she didn't hear anything.  
Than he broke down to the floor and blood was all over the floor…  
Mac tried to get help but she wasn't able to move… She wasn't able to call for help by screaming because nothing came out of her mouth…  
She had to see him dying every time she fell asleep and she wasn't able to keep herself awake because of the painkillers…

Flashback end

A week after Mac was brought to the "normal unit" of the hospital; AJ and she were allowed to go home.  
Mac took a taxi driving her home and so did AJ.  
The both of them had driven the hospital personnel crazy and Delacroix had decided to let them leave under strict orders…  
He hoped that they would care about them but he was sure that this possibility was quit not the best…

The flat was quiet when Mac entered… How could it be any other way?   
She put her little bag wich Harriet had brought to the hospital beneath the door on the floor and then she walked through the rooms.   
She didn't feel good. How could she?  
She remembered the times when Harm was here and it hurt her much.  
Not wanting anything to do, she sat down on the couch and stared on the wall lost in memories and thoughts.

AJ felt bad too… but because of something different than the thoughts of Mac.  
Sure, he was sad about Harm being dead but also about his feelings for Mac.   
He was worried about her wellbeing and her strenghth going to break…  
Even the strongest person reaches to a point at which it's impossible to keep control about the things happening around them…  
Harm's death had taken a lot off of them all… Everybody was disappointed and his jokes at work were not there anymore to make many things easier to handle for a lot of people…   
AJ had heard Bud and Harriet talking about how things at JAG headquarters were…  
It seemed like everybody missed Harm, Mac and … maybe they missed him too.

His thoughts drifted back to Mac. She had looked so... broken was the right word to describe the mood she was in.  
It seemed like she had lost everything life was worth living for.  
Her eyes were without that sparkling, she looked older than she was.  
It looked like she had become older about ten years over night…  
The loosing of beloved people was a very bad thing and AJ was kind of angry about it happening to Mac and Harm.

He was hurt himself… Hearing Mac talking so freely about love and loosing the one she had loved maybe most in this world.  
He knew that Mac needed to speak about that or she wouldn't have come straight (more or less) until getting to the point where she was standing now.  
She was without anything positive right now…  
He lost himself in his own thoughts and a quarter later he had made a decision.  
He grabbed his phone and dialed a number…  
"Good afternoon, this is Admiral AJ Chegwidden…. Yes… I need information about a certain phone number… Yes… the code is "1-3-5-Alpha-Delta-2"… No… Yes, that's right…"  
He began to write something at the paper lying next to the phone.  
"OK. Thanks." He interrupted the call and began a new one.

…tuut…tuut… "Chloe Madison?"  
"Hello Chloe. This is Admiral AJ Chegwidden."  
It was quiet for some seconds…  
"Chloe?"  
"Yes, I'm still here… Did something happen to Mac?" Chloes voice was a little frightened… Why would Mac's CO call her if everything was alright?  
"Yes… It's Friday today and I think there is a plane flying down here to Washington. I think she needs company."   
"If Mac only needs company, why not call Harm or Bud or Harriet to do that job?" Chloe asked kind of confused.  
"That's the problem, Miss Madison. Harm had an accident and Mac was in the hospital because someone shot her. I think it would help her if you would come down here…"

Saturdy morning  
St Andrew international airport

Chloe's airplane had just arrived and AJ was waiting for her in the arriving hall.  
A very worried young girl came to his side and greeted him.  
"Hy Chloe." AJ greeted back.  
"Let's drive to her flat. I haven't told her that you'll come down and visit her. She wouldn't have agreed but I think it's the best thing for her right now."  
"Maybe..." Chloe answered.  
They hurridly went to the carpark and sat in silence in AJ's car while driving to Georgetown…

AJ stopped the car in front of Mac's apartment. Both he and Chloe were sitting in silence for some seconds before opening their doors and going over to the entrance.  
With a last look on Chloe's face AJ pressed the bell and waited for a response.  
After a minute of waiting he pressed it again.  
No answer…  
He pressed the button beneath the name MacKenzie and got a answer.  
"Who's there?" a woman's voice cake out of the speaker.  
"It's Admiral Chegwidden. I'm looking for Colonel MacKenzie but she gives no response…"  
"Just a moment please…" The women spoke again…

Two minutes later the women was down at the entrance door and let them in.   
"Would you mind showing me your identity card, Sir?" She asked AJ befor escorting him uptairs.  
"No, I won't." He showed her the card and the three of them went upstairs.

There the women knocked on Mac's frontdoor.  
"Miss MacKenzie?" she called….  
Again no response.  
The women knocked again.  
"Miss MacKenzie? Are you at home!"

This time they got an answer.   
"Yea, Mrs Cole I'm at home. Something wrong?" Mac asked while opening the door.  
"No, you just got visitors…" With that, Mrs Cole went to her flat and closed the door behind her.

Now Mac could see AJ and Chloe. The expression on her face was a mixture of surprise, sadness and disapointment.  
"Sir… Chloe… What are you doing here?" She asked.  
"May we come in?" AJ asked politley.  
"Sure." She opened the door and closed it behind them.  
"Wanna sit down?"  
"Hy Mac…" Chloe said as highly as she could at the sight of an lethargic Mac and hugged her.   
"Where do you come from?" Mac asked confused as they sat in the living room.  
"I'm coming from home to visite my sister…" Chloe explained.  
Mac looked confused first at Chloe and then at AJ.  
"Whose idea was that?" she sounded tired and exhausted.   
"Mine. I phoned her and asked her to come over for the weekend. If you don't want her to stay I'll take her with me…" He stood up and walked slowly to the door, waiting for an answer.  
"It's Ok. She'll stay." Mac wasn't able to send Chloe away.  
"But I want her to know… I'm not the best company… right now."   
Again she looked from AJ to Chloe….  
"I know that Mac." Chloe answered. "That's why I'm here."  
Chloe and AJ exchanged a look and AJ turned to the door.  
"If the two of you need something, juat call. Any time." With that he left.

Mac stared at the closing door… Why is he doing that?   
"Mac?" Chloe sat down beneath her.  
"Whats up, Chloe?"  
"You were there for me, when I needed you. Just know, I'm here… I'm listening."  
"Oh Chloe…" Mac leaned back and fought against the welling tears.  
"I just don't want to unload all that stuff on you… I can handle that…" She turned her head and saw the worried expression on the teenage girl's face…  
It was quiet for some time…  
"You hungry?" Mac asked instead of opening up her mind to Chloe…

4 and a half hour later…   
Mac's Appartment

"I'll sleep on the couch…" Chloe told Mac.  
"You sure?" Mac asked again…  
"Yeah…" She hugged Mac. "Sleep well Mac."  
!I'll try." She sounded not very optimistic…

20 minutes later…

Chloe walked soundlessly through the apartment. She wanted to know if Mac was already asleep or not. She peeked into the bedroom and saw her lying in the bed… sleeping.  
So she walked back to the sofa and grabbed the phone.

Because nobody answered the phone, Chloe put it down and got to sleep.  
When she awoke, she saw Mac standing at the window, talking to someone.  
"…Yes Sir, I've understood…. Yes, I'll be there….. No Sir, no problem… Thank you, Sir… OK…" Then she hung up.  
"Mac?" Chloe asked her…  
"Oh, did I wake you up?" Mac asked uncomforted.  
"No, you didn't. Who was on the phone?"  
"It was Admiral Chegwidden. It's because of Harm… His funeral is next Saturday at Arlington." She sat down and stared at her hands.  
It took a while but then Mac confessed: "Oh Chloe, I miss him so much…"

Today would be Harm's funeral

Lots of his friends were at Arlington, and his family. All of them were sad and most of them looked terrible…  
In the first line of chairs there were sitting Trish and Frank Burnett and Harm's brother Sergeij…

Mac wasn't able to concentrate on the speech Admiral Chegwidden held. She looked on the coffin wich was covered in a star-spangled banner.  
When the coffin was lowered to the bottom of the grave everybody threw flowers.  
Mac's flowers were a bunch of bright yellow gerbera…  
They contrasted all of the other flowers… Most people had brought white or red roses or white lilies…

Mac was shaken out of her standing and staring at the grave, when someone grabbed her politley at her arm. 

When she turned her face, she looked at AJ.  
"It's time to go…" he said and Mac realised that they were the last people standing here.  
"Where are the others?" She asked…   
"Most of them left fifteen minutes ago… I thought you needed the time to say goodbye to him, but now it's getting colder and colder, you should go home now, too."  
"It's right maybe… but I just don't know what to do…." Mac answered him…   
Together they walked to the carpark, there they parted ways and every one of them went home.

A week later… 

Mac went to the JAG headquarter. She didn't feel very well going to work where the murder had happened.  
She went straight to Admiral Chegwidden's office…  
"Enter…" AJ's voice came out after she had knocked at the door.  
"Good morning, Sir." Mac greeted him.  
"At ease, Colonel…" He looked at her with a questioning look.  
Mac on the other hand looked through the office. Everywhere boxes were standing around…  
Mac handed AJ a folder…  
"What's that?" He asked her.  
"It's my transfer request. I'm not able to work here after what happened." She answered him.  
"One of the lawyers in San Diego is transferred to the Seahawk… His job is still open." With that he signed the document…  
"Thank you, Sir." Mac stood at attention again..."Dismissed."  
When the door had closed behind her he stared at it…

They would see each other sooner than she could imagine…

After she had left his office, he sighed and grabbed the phone…  
"Good Morning, Admiral Cabera, this is Admiral Chegwidden again… Yes, I've got a problem… Yes, a transfer to San Diego… It's Colonel Sarah MacKenzie… Yes, she's the one… I've just signed her transfer request… Job still open? Yes… Ok… Thanks a lot…"

4 days later   
1100 local time  
JAG Headquarters San Diego

Mac had just arrived with a civilian flight and with most of her luggage she had stopped at her new appartment.  
From there she had gone straight to her new workstation…

After a little fight with the security personnel at the entrance she got to the second floor, where the lawyers' offices were.

Without orientation she looked around…  
"May I help you?" a young Lieutenant asked her gently.  
"I'm looking for the CO… I'm the new lawyer, Colonel MacKenzie."  
"The Office of the Admiral ist just over here…" the Lieutenant replied.  
"Thank you." Mac greeted the friendly Lieutenant before walking into the room.  
"Ma'am?" a petty Officer behind a desk asked her.  
"I have to speak to Admiral Noroso… I'm Colonel MacKenzie." Mac answered his questioning look.  
"Wait a moment please…"  
He pushed some buttons on his phone…   
"Admiral, Sir? Here is a certain Colonel MacKenzie who wants to speak to you… Yes, I'll send her in…"  
Mac went over to the door wich was leading to the Admiral's office…  
With a short sigh she knocked the door and soon entered.  
"Colonel Sarah MacKenzie reporting as ordered."  
"At ease, Colonel. At first three things… The next few days you have to share your office with a second lawyer. second… I just got a new file. You're going to defend the accused… It's a Navy Captain from the Seahawk. The third thing is an invitation to my goodbye party. Ask Petty Officer Michalsen for details. Dismissed."  
"Aye Sir."  
Again the phone on the Admirals desk rang and he talked briefly into it.

Just when Mac reached the door, it opened…  
She had to step backwards otherways the door would've hit her.  
As she realised who was standing just in front of her she gasped.  
"Admiral!" was the only thing she managed to say.  
"Nice to meet you, too, Colonel…" His smile was friendly but dissociated.  
Behind her back Admiral Noroso stood up.  
"You two obviously know each other. Colonel, Admiral Chegwidden is my successor. He'll lead the office from tomorrow on."  
"Sir…" Mac saluted and after being released she headed out.  
Her feelings were driving rollercoasters…

He had known that they would work with each other again…  
Why hadn't he told her?  
Now it was more complicated for her to forget what had happened… It had been his office where…  
She put those thoughts away and tried to concentrate on what to do next.  
Soon she found the office with her name and entered. There were two office desks inside, four shelves beneath them on the wall and two small filing cabinets.  
A clock was ticking and at that sound she smiled a little.  
Nobody was in the office so she looked which one of the desks was used and she took the other one.

She laid the file on the desk, sat down and began to read…  
After a short time she was quite sure that she would win the case… It was obvious…  
All accusations were just based on indications wich were easy to refute.  
The captain's personnel document was without any absence rides…   
After an hour she grabbed her things and went to the prison to talk to the captain.

--AJ's point of view—

After the discussion with Admiral Noroso, he headed to the Chief of Staff to get an overview over his new staff.  
It took him about one and a half hour to get the most important things into his head.  
When he decided that it was time for lunch he thought of Mac again and walked to her office.  
When he opened, the only person he found there was an unknown officer…  
"Excuse me… Do you know where Colonel MacKenzie is?" He asked him…  
"No, I'm, sorry Admiral. I saw her only a few minutes before she went to meet her client."  
"Thanks…" AJ said, leaving the office.

It was already late when Mac returned to the office.  
She was exhausted and felt that she would get a headache… Her client was rude and she disliked him… When she thought about him she felt a bad feeling grow inside…  
Because the only thing she wanted now was getting home, eating and getting to sleep, she didn't care where she went.  
Just when she bumped into someone, she felt upset and that it was definitly not her day.  
"Ugh… I'm sorry, Admiral." Why HIM! She thought…  
"No Problem… Something wrong, Mac?" he asked looking straight at her.  
"It's just not my day Sir." She answered him in an I-want-to-forget-everything-what-just-happened-tone.  
"Hold your head up, Marine. Life goes on." He didn't knew why he had said this and silence surrounded them.  
Most people had left the office, but AJ had had a lot of things to do, before starting his job offically tomorrow…  
"Good evening Sir." She greeted him and tried to on but both of them headed for the same direction and so they stepped together.  
Mac could smell his tart comforting smell…  
They stood there for some moments like frozen statues and then tried again walking past each other and again stepped togther.  
Because she was that nervous, Mac giggled a little. This whole situation was upsetting… ridiculous!  
They were so close they could feel each other's heartbeat…  
Hesitantly, Mac stepped backwards and nearly would've fallen to the floor, because she slipped, but was rescued by a strong arm grasping her.  
Their faces were merely inches apart and both of them breathed faster than normally.  
Their lips nearly had met and in AJ's head the thoughts were spinning around.  
Today he was not her CO… Only from tomorrow on…   
Their lips met and they shortly played with each other before parting again and both being confused and with hormones spinning around in their bodies, they looked at each other and then around the room.  
"I'm sorry…" AJ told her … Knowing exactly, that he felt sorry to have confused her, but definitely not sorry about the kiss.  
"You have no reason to be…" Mac answered him, now looking right into his face.  
"Oh god… I've said that loud?" She asked right after the words had left her lips.  
AJ smiled a little bit.  
"Oh yes…" He answered. "You said that loud."   
Now neither of them knew what to say and they stood there for what seemed endless seconds in the silence of the office.  
Stroking softly along her cheekbone, he whispered her name…  
Mac sighed slightly… Her heard was lightened up for the first time since Harm's death.  
Their lips met for a second kiss and this time it was longer and more passionate and when they parted they saw the look in each others eyes… Both of them knew that life was going to be more complicated than it had been for them for the past years…

They kissed a third time and then went in silence and agreement to AJ's car.  
While AJ concentrated on the road, Mac looked out of the window and shot, from time to time, short glances at him.  
She was only able to see half of his face… The pretty nose, the marvelous lips…  
A warm feeling began to spread all over her and she sighed happily.  
AJ's face turned around and he studied her face.  
Then his lips formed a warm and loving smile wich let Mac's heart melt over and over again for this incredible man…When the car stopped in front of AJ's house they looked tenderly into each other's eyes and both felt the overwhelming power their love gave them…  
They smiled at each other and got out of the car. AJ helped her out of his Pick-up gentlemanlike.  
When the front door closed behind them, they hung their jackets to the hooks in the corridor.  
They stood close together and kissed… It was so passionate and electrifying that it took their breath away.  
Slowly Mac began to unbotton his office jacket and then the buttons of his shirt, while he was unbuttoning hers and stroking up and down her back…  
They walked the few meters to his bedroom where they let their desire take control… 

It was around 4 o'clock in the morning when Mac awoke… She felt a strong arm holding her tight to a comforting body. After watching AJ sleeping for a while, she gave him a quick kiss on the lips and then got out of the bed. While she clothed herself, she watched him again.  
He seemed so cute… all emotions except of endless peace were washed away from his face.  
His thorax was going up and down in a regular, reassuring rhythm…  
Mac was just ready to go, when she sat down at his bedside and softly stroked over his cheekbone.  
She leaned forward and kissed his lips one more time. It felt so good and she just didn't want to let this relationship end… In fact she felt that she was not able to live like before…  
As she straightened her back to stand up, AJ took her hand. Surprised Mac looked down at him and saw that he had opened his eyes.  
She saw the sadness in his eyes, and something that she would have identified as love, but she was not sure…  
"Hy…" she whispered. Her voice was soft, mixed with a little sadness…  
He smiled back, with the same expression on the face and in his eyes she had in hers…  
"You're leaving…" It was a statement…   
"Yeah…" she touched his cheekbone with her fingertips again… Her face lightening up a little at the feeling of his skin under her fingers…  
AJ sighed at the feeling of this soft touch… He didn't want her to leave…  
"Please stay…" he whispered.  
Macs face drivted off to a expression of totally sadness…  
"It's against the rules if I'll stay now…" She whispered back…  
"Isn't it already against it?" AJ whispered again…  
Mac smiled at him. "Maybe it is, but it's worth it."  
With a last, soft kiss on his lips, Mac left…

AJ rolled on his back, starring onto the wall… Why were things always complicated for love? Maybe it was the nature of love, that there were always stones in the lovers' ways…

Mac in the meantime walked along the road, to a near busstop and wated for the next to arrive.  
In her head and heart she was at AJ's house… She couldn't stop thinking about the last night, the man who had held her tight to himself and comforted her so much, that she had forgotten all pain of the last weeks, month's and years…  
The only thing she was thinking about was how he felt about what happened between them… How he felt about her… And how he thought about their relationship… Relationship… She laughed at herself. They had only shared one night together and she was thinking about a relationship…  
But she knew that it wasn't only that night… She had realised, that she had had these feelings over a very long time for him and that she had put them into a very far away corner of her mind…  
It began to rain and when the bus came, her clothes were wet like she had been swimming in a lake with them…  
After an hour she was at home and the first thing she did was taking a very hot and very long shower…

0900 local time   
Briefing room  
JAG HQ  
San Diego

„Please sit down, everybody." AJ told his new staff  
Everybody except of Mac watched him, the new CO with unhidden interest.  
"I'm Admiral AJ Chegwidden, from today on your new CO. I'd like to introduce you also to Lt. Colonel Sarah MacKenzie who was also trensferred to San Diego from the JAG Office in Washington."  
Everybody shot interested glances at the two newcomers and send their welcomes to them.  
AJ began to hand the new files to the officers and dismissed them.  
He tried hard not to stare at Mac and imagine her lying naked in his bed… Every time this thought switched into his mind he pushed it away into a far away corner… Not far enough. He caught himself thinking about her way too often…  
And if he interpreted the way she acted right, she was trying the same. She managed not to look at him for nearly the whole briefing and he would have given much to look her in the eyes…  
Maybe it was better not to have eye contact, because it would have caught him off guard…   
He didn't know how to handle their new situation. What he knew exactly was that he had fallen in love with this gung ho marine…and with the lady behind it.  
He sighed heavily and stood up, walking over to his office, where he put all personal thoughts out of his mind and tried to concentrate onto his workload…

Mac walked straight to her office, shut the door and closed the blindfold.  
When she turned around, she was a little bit shocked, to see her coworker looking curiously at her.  
"Sorry…" she said, while walking to her desk. "I have to get used to share the office with someone else."  
"No problem." The amused answer came, before both of them got to work again… Or tried to.

She had several files to work on and she tried to get them settled for the courtroom, when a popupwindow blinked up at her computer desktop.  
It was an office memo…  
Caught off guard, she stared some seconds on it.   
It was from him…  
Couriosity won over fear and she read what it said…  
Most of the message was office stuff, but the last lines were attaching her… She sighed heavily and now she began to fight with herself if she should or shouldn't write back…  
At least she wrote a short message back…  
"Miss ya, too. Wish there could be a way for us within the rules, Mac."  
Checking her internal clock she decided to go get lunch.

While she sat in a little café near the headquarters, she remembered the past evening. It was so perfect… Why had it to be so difficult…?   
Why had it to be forbidden for them to do what their heards were crying to get?

When she sat down at her office desk after her lunch break, she saw a message blinking… again.  
She clicked on the pop-up window and it opened…  
"You know what? Were already stuck in this affair, I guess. There is going to be a way for us if you want, within the rules… it just needs time…"  
Time… if that would be the only thing…  
She read the few lines over and over again and everytime one word was hopping around in her mind… Time.  
Her coworker, Commander Sounders, was looking astonished at her…  
"Are you OK, Colonel?" He asked.  
"Er… What?" She turned her head slowly and looked at him in confusion. "Excuse me, what did you say?"  
"Are you alright Colonel?" Sounders asked worried.   
"Yeh, I'm alright." She turned her head again and stared at the PC…

5 minutes later…  
It knocked on the door… 

A Petty Officer was standing there and adressed Mac… "Colonel, the Admiral wants to see you ASAP."  
"I'm coming…" She said and got ready for war… against letting her feelings obviously show… to the Admiral and to others.  
Hesitantly she stood up and walked behind the PO to AJ's Office.

"Colonel MacKenzie reporting as ordered!" Mac stood right in front of his desk.  
"At ease, Colonel. Have a seat."  
The office door closed with a nearly inaudible click…  
With a puzzled expression on her face Mac watched AJ moving.  
"I just got a new file…" He handed her a folder.  
"You have to go to an Army Base, it's not far away from here. A Major and a Lieutenant disappeared 8 days ago. Their Commanding Officer is thinking that they ran away, but he is the only one. Most people are thinking that they were kidnapped by a militia group. Hand your current cases to Commander Sounders."   
"Aye Sir." Mac answered him.  
A soft smile was growing on AJ's face.  
"Take care." He whispered before barking a "Dismissed!"  
"Aye Sir!" Mac said again while standing at attention.  
Before she opened the door, she turned her head around and gave him a quick smile, then she left.  
AJ had wached her leaving and he felt relieved… He knew that it would have been difficult for him to hold the distance… He remembered her too much…   
The look of her face, her skin…  
Again he concentrated on his work, his thoughts drifting off just a few times.

When Mac had left his office, she went straight to her own and told Sounders about her leaving.  
Her feelings were running up and down the road they had ran up and down the whole day, now they were just… faster.  
Then she took her things and drove to her Hotelroom, packing her stuff and driving with a JAG-car to the Base.

After a one-hour-drive she was at the location. While driving she had had a lot of time to think about what had happened to her… She realised, that the feelings she had for her CO were not just friendship and respect and also no feelings about wanting a short affair… It was love.  
She had thought about it over and over again and everytime she got to the same answer…  
And then a new question came up in her mind… Had he sent her away because he didn't respond to these feelings? But that would stand against his little message…  
And against the little lovable smile he had given her before she had left.  
She put the thoughts away when she nearly had a crash with a truck because she hadn't concentrated enough onto the road…

After a short briefing with the Commanding Officer, Mac decided to ask the coworkers of Leutnant Milano and Major Carahoff some questions about them…

"… Why do you think they were kidnapped?" Mac asked again… She had asked several people the same question and she got a different answer from everyone of them …  
Full of hope, she had begun to ask the people about the two officers and at the beginning she had only been getting a clearer picture of the people she had to work with…  
The only thing she was nearly sure now was, that the two hadn't deserted…  
But why was the CO so sure that they had?  
That was one of the questions circling around in her head…  
She leaned back in the chair, lost in thoughts and playing with a pencil on the table…  
And then the phone rang and shook her out of the trance she had fallen into.  
"MacKenzie"  
"This is Admiral Chegwidden…"  
Quiet…  
They heard the breathing of the other through the telephone…  
"How are things going?" he asked…  
I'm only 4 hours gone…   
"I'm, not quite sure, Sir." She answered him. "I'll let you know if I find something out."  
Again it was quiet and they could nearly feel the tension over the line…  
"Ehm… I have to get to a meeting…" The connection ended apruptly…  
Mac stared at the phone and with half a smile she shook her head before putting the phone down.  
Let's go back to work Marine! She pushed herself up and went to the door…

Outside the building she went over to the gym and watched some people running…  
Because she was again lost in thoughts she didn't realise that someone sat down beside her.  
"You're the JAG Officer investigating the disappearance of Major Carahoff and Lieutenant Milano, right?"   
"Right." Mac turned her head and saw a young Lieutenant.  
"Do you know something about it?"  
"Yes and no…" was the answer. Mac was quiet… She saw the expression on the woman's face and knew she would talk…  
"I know that they werw kidnapped and I know the place where they were brought to…"  
She turned her head and faced Mac…  
"Do you really care about what happened to them?" She asked.  
"Yes I am." Mac said and meant it.   
"First I'm going to tell you the why and then the when and who… But do you have a place where nobody is listening?"  
"Sure…" They went to Mac's car…  
Mac drove to a place near the gym and parked in a remote corner…  
"So?" she asked the Leutnant.   
"Lieutenant Milano and Commander Akens had an affair. Major Carahoff knew about it, she caught them in flagranti… Brigadier General Casselli talked to Lieutenant Milano and Commander Akens… and to Major Carahoff… I don't know what they decided to do, but obviously they didn't take the official way…" Her voice was nearly a whisper.  
"Nine days ago we started a training camp… And 8 days ago they disappeared without a trace… We followed their footsteps as far as we could but it was useless… The footsteps ended abruptly and there were only wheeltrails from a car. We lost them on a street."  
She paused.  
"When we got back from the camp at that evening, General Casselli told us not to talk about it and that they would come back after some hours, but they didn't."   
"You're worried about them right?" Mac asked politely.   
"Yes." she whispered…  
Just in this moment Mac's cell phone rang… Admiral Chegwidden's name appeared on the display.   
"Excuse me" Mac told the Lieutenant and got halfways out of the car.  
"Sir?" She asked…  
"Mac, subject changed…" quiet a moment. "…Attempted murder in two cases…"  
Mac was shocked a second.  
"Where are they?" She asked quietly…  
"In a local hospital in San Diego. They were found just three streets away from the HQ."  
"How are they?"  
He sighed… "Not very good, but it's good enough that you can see them and ask some questions…"  
"Sir, I have a young Lieutenant here with me, I'll bring her over to San Diego… I guess she wants to see the Major and the Lieutenant… She has some interesting information about the case…"  
"Come over to the HQ first, I'll want to speak to her before you are going."  
"We'll be there in about… an hour." Mac told him.  
"I'll wait…" Again there was a tension between them and they interrupted it only because they had to.  
"Be careful…" Mac heard his voice befor the line went dead.  
With a heavy sigh she sat back into the car.   
"We're driving to my CO in San Diego." She told the Lieutenant. "They found Major Carahoff and Lieutenant Milano. They're in a hospital in San Diego."  
While they were on their way to the office of General Casselli Mac was worried if he would let the two of them go…  
"General, my CO wants me and the Lieutenant in the JAG Office in San Diego."  
"Something new about the status of Major Carahoff and Lieutenant Milano?" He asked her…  
"They are not longer disappeared… they are in a hospital."  
"Dismissed." Casselli barked and stood up himself, walking over to the window and stared at the landscape…   
With a bad feeling Mac walked over to the car.  
She didn't know where it had come from but it was so clear… Following a certain intuition she knelt down and scanned the bottom of the vehicle…  
But there was nothing…  
Mac had decided to leave the base with the young Lieutenant…  
So they drove off …

AJ sat behind his desk, staring at his phone…  
One hour… he sighed and looked at the report he had got from the Police Department about the Major and the Lieutenant and where they were found…

About an hour later, Mac stopped the car in the HQ carpark.  
They went straight to Admiral Chegwidden's Office and after a short talk they drove off to the hospital.  
Mac kept her expression expressionless… A stranger would've thought the atmosphere between AJ and Mac was cold… But the two of them only tried not to show anything than professionalism and it was hard for them … very hard …

1855 local time  
JAG HQ San Diego

AJ had left the hospital early, because he had to do paperwork and other stuff…  
Mac arrived in her office; she had been in the hospital most of the day…   
She sat down at her desk, studying the notes she had written.   
After half an hour had passed by, she went over to write her recommendation…  
She hadn't written much when she fell asleep. It had been a long day and she was exhausted… And she was nearly the only one at the HQ except of the night watch… Nearly.

AJ Chegwidden looked at his the clock hanging above his office door… 1940…  
Time to go… he thought, straightened his back and began to pack his stuff.  
He took his coat and his cap and went out into the bullpen.  
He was surprised when he saw that he wasn't the last one who left. Couriously he went over and then he saw Mac sleeping in her chair, her head and arms on the desk.  
He stood in the doorway to her office like frozen, grasping every detail of what he saw. She looked so peaceful… so soft.  
He slowly walked over to her, still watching her sleeping.  
Then he softly shook her shoulder…  
With a very sleepy look in her eyes, she looked at him and at first she didn't know where she was but she knew very well with whom…  
"AJ…" she whispered.  
Hearing the sound of his name and seeing her with this groggy expression in her eyes made AJ nearly crazy.  
Then Mac realized where she was and she slowly stood up.  
"I'm sorry, Admiral…" she began, but was cut off.  
"No excuse… I only woke you up because I know how uncomfortable it is to sleep in a chair, leaned over on a office desk." He gave her a smile which made her feel like a teenager…   
"Thank you…" She said and began to rearrange her desk. Soon she gave up and walked over to take her coat and her hat.  
Mac and AJ walked out of the door at the same time and each of them bumped into one side of the doorframe…  
Their eyes met and it was so hard not to lose control…  
Their lips met only for the fraction of a second before parting again.  
AJ's fingertips were wandering along her cheekbone… Mac shivered… How much had she missed him… With a heavy sigh AJ took his hand away…  
"I'm so sorry…" He whispered to her…

Their eyes locked and they would've loved to kiss… it was against the rules…  
But why had it felt so damned right…  
A voice shook them out of their trance…  
"Good evening…" the night guard greeted them and walked through the bullpen and dissapeared through the backdoor…  
The spell was broken.  
"I'll walk you to your car…" AJ said and together they walked in silence to the elevator…  
It was a little bit scary walking over the empty car park to their cars… which stood side by side.  
"Good night… "Mac said slowly when they stood at her car. No one moved…   
"Mac…" His voice was rough and pleading…  
When he tried to go on talking Mac laid her finger on his mouth…  
"AJ…" she whispered… "I know… but we can't… we can't…"  
Her face was a mirror of the feelings deep inside of her…  
What he saw made him nearly speechless… Love, desire…fear… She was frightened doing something she wanted to so much and breaking the rules she had sworn to protect while doing it …  
He leaned forward and Mac thought he would kiss her… but he didn't… She wished he had…  
Their foreheads leaned against each other and they closed their eyes in comprehension…  
"Permission to hug the Admiral?" Mac asked with a shaky voice after several seconds…   
"Granted…" AJ whispered back and Mac leaned towards him, enjoying the feeling of holding him…  
AJ was the one who broke the spell which had overcome them… again…  
He knew that if they would stay like that a little bit longer, he would not be able to get a grip of himself…  
"See you tomorrow…" Mac whispered…  
"Yeah… see you tomorrow, too…" He gave her a smile and turned around to get to his car. Mac watched him walking away and then she sat hin her car, not beeing able to drive off…   
Helplessly she let hear head sink against the steering-wheel  
She had to fight the tears welling up inside her…  
Why … she thought… why…  
And then she made a decision…  
Whith new confidence she drove out of the car park and to the hotel where she stayed since she had arrived in San Diego… there had been no time for looking for an apartment…  
And maybe she needn't look for it…  
When she was in her room, she sat down at the small desk and began to write on a sheet of paper…  
While writing, she thought about what would happen when she handed it in…

Meanwhile in AJ's house…

He lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling… In his thoughts he was with Mac…  
She had given him a definitely new perspective of how his life could be…  
And he knew one thing for sure… He didn't want to live without her… But things were not so easy… they never were when it came to important decisions…   
He sighed and rolled on his side, staring at his alarm clock…   
Damn… He thought…  
And then he thought of the opportunities they had…  
One of them would have to be transferred… Or have to leave the military service… But both of them wanted to serve in the military…  
Over his thoughts he fell asleep… after hours of thinking…

0825 local time  
JAG HQ San Diego  
Admiral Chegwidden's Office

Someone knocked on his door… He could only imagine one person who was at the HQ this early except of him… Mac.  
"Enter…" He called out loud…  
Mac opened the door, with a folder in her hands. In front of his desk she got to attention.  
"At ease, Colonel…" AJ told her, studying her face.  
"What's on your mind?" He asked gently…  
With a sigh Mac handed him the folder, explaining "It's my transfer request, Sir."  
"Have a seat, Colonel…" His voice was indifferent…  
Mac sat down nervously, not sure what to expect…  
"Tell me the reason." AJ demanded…  
Mac looked in his face, not sure what to say… then she turned her had and stared at her hands…  
"The reason is personal, Sir." She looked in his face, her face a battlefield of emotions.  
He was just looking at her… No word, no response about what she just had said…  
Mac was getting more nervous every second she was in this room, the words she had said… or better not said hanging in the air and she still didn't get any response from him…  
It was driving her crazy…  
"Colonel… Mac…" when she heard his voice and the tone in which he spoke to her, she felt a little bit released, but only a little bit…  
"You know what's expecting you, don't you?" He saked…  
"I know…" She sighed. "I might be transferred to a carrier or anywhere else…" Her voice trailed off.  
AJ only nodded and dismissed her…  
When the door closed behind her, he was released in one point and frightened in another… He was glad about her leaving his command, so they would be able to get together seriously… But he was frightened to lose her, if she would be stationed on a carrier… Then they wouldn't see each other as often as they did right now…

1623 local time  
JAG HQ San Diego  
Admiral Chegwidden's Office 

"Colonel MacKenzie, ASAP…" AJ adressed his PO…  
"Yes Sir…" And he was gone.

Mac was just ready with the case when a Petty Officer entered…  
"The Admiral wants to see you ASAP."  
"Thanks, I'm coming." Said and done…

"Colonel, have a seat…" he adressed her when she stood at attention.   
"Thank you, Sir…" She sat down, without any colour in her face…  
"I've looked around because of your transferring request…" he said and watched Mac's face emptying a little more…  
"There is an open assignment on one of our destroyers in the Pacific fleet… I also heared about a JAG-lawyer who wanted to transfer to San Diego… You could exchange positions… He is a member of the staff at the NAVAL AIR STATION NORTH ISLAND. Think about the opportunities and make your decision… I expect an answer up to Monday morning… Dismissed…"  
"Aye Sir…" When she had reached the door, she gave him a quick smile and then left… 

She sat down in her office, not realizing, that her Co-worker watched her…  
"Something wrong, Colonel?" He asked her… Again…  
"No, it's alright…" And then she thought about what AJ had told her…  
All opportunities were in or near San Diego… She asked herself if it was a sign…

1936 local time  
Mac's hotel room

She sat in the armchair, papers of the different assignments lying in front of her...  
In fact she had made her desicion... A transfer to the Naval Airstation North Island...  
It was near San Diego, in a town called Coronado, the whole northern part of the half of the island was owned by the military.  
She would have loved to call AJ, to hear his voice, to tell him that soon they would be able to be together...  
A look at the comfortable bed and she was half asleep...

Next day   
JAG HQ San Diego

Mac went over to AJ's Office, knocked and entered…  
"So you made your decision…" I hope she hasn't taken the destroyer… he prayed and was soon released…   
"Yes Sir…" She handed him the information she had gotten from his PO…  
"If it's possible, I would choose the assignment at the Naval Airstation Northern Island…"  
AJ smiled at her… "I hoped you would take this one…" he grabbed the phone and dialed the nummber of the Chief of Staff of the Naval Base…  
"Good morning, this is Admiral Chegwidden… Yes, we already talked yesterday… Yes, I want to speak him… Yes, I found someone for your JAG Office… Yes… Colonel Sarah MacKenzie… Yes, a Marine… OK… Thank you… Yes…" He laughed and hung up…   
"So, Colonel… your transferring request is approved… If you want to… it is from tomorrow on…" He gave her a confident smile and Mac smiled in response… She was glad to be sitting already…   
"There is something else on the agenda…" he told her, still smiling…  
"The welcome party…" he smirked… "Or for you now… the welcome and godbyeparty…"  
"I would've loved to get to know these people… It's Coronado for God's sake… Not very far away… I could visit them from time to time…" She smiled at him…  
AJs phone rang…  
"Chegwidden…"  
It was quiet… "Yes Sir… I understand… No problem… No… Yes…" he hung up…  
"I've got some work to do… You're getting the rest of the day off duty, to get your things done… You don't have a flat or a house, right?" He asked…  
"Yeah… I'm still staying at the hotel." Mac answered.  
AJ gave her a note… "That's the number of an estate agent I know. He knows the best places… Call him and tell him I gave you the number, you won't have any problems… And a house without blinking twice…"  
"Thank you, Sir."  
AJ walked around his desk.  
"I'm glad about you being near… And not under my command." He said softly.  
"I'm glad about it, too." Mac answered, with sparkels in her eyes…   
And then the phone rang again…  
"Sorry…" He took it. "Chegwidden…" He held his hand over the phone… "Dismissed, Colonel… Hope we don't lose contact."  
Mac smiled and silently made a promise…  
Then she shut the door behind and walked to her office, collecting her things… And some confused looks from her coworkers.

At 1705 she got a call on her cell phone… It was from AJ Chegwidden.  
"Sarah MacKenzie?" she asked.  
"Hello, Sarah, this is AJ Chegwidden… The welcome Party is tonight in a pub near the HQ, it's called "Morning's glow", if you want to come, the party begins at 1900."  
"I'd love to." She answered.  
"May I pick you up at the hotel?"   
"That would be great."

1845 local time  
in front of Mac's hotel

He stopped his car and saw Mac was already waiting. When she saw his car, she walked over and sat down in the car.  
"Nice dress, Mac." AJ looked at her and couldn't stop thinking about kissing her… She was so beautiful…  
Mac blushed lightly, when she realised how he gazed at her.  
"You look good, too, AJ." She had thrown the nasty "Admiral" overboard … And she was glad about it.

They leaned forward and their lips met for a tender kiss…  
It felt like they had thrown heavy stones from their backs… They felt released and it was just great, doing what they had wanted to do all through the last week and weren't allowed to do.  
After the kiss they leaned their foreheads against each other… like on the carpark…  
Then they their gazes locked and there was an unknown but also liberating atmosphere between them…

The End


End file.
